Today's post ain't gonna be about me, cause i've nothing to blog about. My life is Shitless BORING TODAY! But i just recieved an email from one of my reader who became my email pal. His facing some kind of WOMAN CRY problem, and i thought you guys could also chip in to some some advise for this poor fellow here. Everyone's opinion might be different, so it will be good if Woman can explain Why? and Men can explain if they have come across any such incidents.
Please do email me @ Shainda@ymail.com. (You can mass sent this around) :)
Below is the attach email, but i censored some due to privacy of my sender.
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Women cry a lot. I kid you not. They do. I’m surprised no scientist has used a woman's tears as an alternative source of energy. It’s as plentiful as the sun.
And to tell you the truth, I have no FLIPPING clue what it means or what to do when a woman cries.
First - let me explain this to women.
Crying isn't a man's best forte - let alone understanding when someone does cry. There are only a few reasons I can think of why a guy would cry.
1. Watching the Boston red sox win the World Series (whether it's tears of joy, or total shock - that's up to you)
2. Being responsible for your wife's credit card bill
3. Plucking just one nose hair
4. Throwing away a good can of spam
5. David Hasselhoff
6. And some weird disease that affects your tear ducts
...and um...yup, that's about it. Can't think of any other reasons.
But just recently - it has come to my attention that women "JUST CRY" sometimes. Yes. No reason. They just friggin CRY.
W T F!?
THAT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE. Is there an excess aggregation of sodium based H20 in your skull that you need to release periodically?
Does your cheeks need to be washed and regular water doesn't do the deed? Do you find you get "high" off the blurry vision you get when crying? Are you thirsty? Your Pantene Pro-v Guava creme shampoo moisturizes your hair, but couldn't find something that moisturizes your eyelashes? What the heck is it?
The worst part is the conversation you have to try to understand.
crying girl: *sniff sniff*
me: what's wrong?
crying girl: nothing - nothing's wrong.
Analysis: ok - this makes no sense. It's like me having fruit punch oozing out of my skull and someone asking me if i'm ok and i say to them "nah - I'm fine." Basic HUMAN rule of thumb, if there's ANY type of liquid coming from your skull - something's up. So easily, my next thought is:
me: well, you're crying though, so surely something has to be wrong.
crying girl: no, nothing's wrong.
me: I don't get it then - you're just crying for no reason?
crying girl: nothing's wrong.
Analysis: Ah yes - the classic. We've seen this before. The classic yes means no, and no means yes thing. She's just afraid to tell you something. It's your time to shine and be compassionate and ask about what's really going on. So I ask:
me: do you just not want to tell me?
crying girl: no, I just need a 'good cry'
me: what the? a "good cry"?
Analysis: Since when is a cry any 'good'? That's like me urinating blood and saying "man! that was awesome! How satisfying was that!" Crying can't be good. When i think of crying, I think of only bad stuff - like Jesse from Saved by the Bell after she took caffeine pills, or Nancy Kerrigan grabbing her knee, or that time when I was 4 years old, I punched my uncle, but couldnt' reach his face and just punched the nearest thing around my height - ALL THE BAD STUFF!
So asking what a 'good cry' is was very important to me. And that's when it the big answer hit. The ultimate enigma. The one statement. That actually made the sphinx' nose fall off.
crying girl: sometimes, we just need to let it all out.
Analysis: !?!?!?!?!???!!??! How does that make any sense? I just need to let it all out. That's what we guys say about our beer gut or intonations that our digestive tract can perform - not about crying! It makes absolutely no sense!!!!! "LET IT ALL OUT" Bottom line - you don't "JUST CRY" just to "let is all out" in hopes you get a "good cry" - this is crazy talk!! Which is why every man can only come to one conclusion at the end of all of this:
me: omg - I knew it, you're a friggin alien.
That's right Shalinda, we're gonna have to chalk it up there with all the other weird alien rituals you all practice. From the sleeveless turtlenecks, the buying a million dollars worth of stuff from the 'sale' rack and thinking you're actually getting money back, the 3 inch sticks you walk on, and cutting your hair every time you have problems with the significant other. We're on to your alien behavior.
But nevertheless, we know why you invaded our planet. Although we may NEVER fully understand what this all means, we'll do our best to live harmoniously.
So as a token of peace and goodwill, we'll give you what you need most during this time and that's simply a shoulder to cry on. In fact, we'll give you two and throw in two arms as well.
Do women just cry for the hell of it? And what does a 'good cry' really mean? I really need help Shalinda. I don't want to suffer from woman traumatization. And recently, this has been happening around ALOT!
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So, as we can see, Mr XX is really in need, and although i can give him advises i don't think i'm in the right position due to the fact that i've never been in a relationship. So, all those peeps out there, please help Mr XX!